Music is not subjective. If you think it is, please stop reading this blog you smug fart sniffing douche. That being said, feel free to aid me in talking colossal amounts of shit about these horrible bands.
This blog has a few segments:
"______" IS AWESOME - Videos or songs from terrible bands.
ACTUALLY AWESOME - Videos or songs that are actually worth a listen.
AWESOME NEWS - Can be shitty or awesome. I'll post it if it seems noteworthy.
AWESOME REVIEWS - Uhhh Reviews (fucking duh).
NO REALLY, GO AHEAD
FEEL FREE TO CONTRIBUTE
I write this shit. I don't make the music or take the pictures.
Thanks Four Year Strong (not my style, but actually talented), you guys really fucked things up. Now bands like Act As One and other former metal-core kids want to be just like you. I used to think dubstep fans waited for the drop, but this genre takes the cake, hands down. Why write a song when you can write a breakdown?
Okay, someone’s fucking with me, right? I’ll give it to Chunk! No, Captain Chunk!, Four Year Strong’s "Rise or Die Trying" was a pretty good album, but not one to base your entire band around. They’re like the Limp Bizkit of Metal-Core and Pop-Punk, mixing two genres that don’t belong together. I don’t even know why I’m writing this. They are obviously trolling everyone. This can’t be a real band. The singer gives it away. He’s plugging his nose and singing out of key to make fun of someone. Who? I don’t know, but can you please stop? The joke isn’t funny anymore.
READ FIRST WATCH VIDEO LATER
This week has easily been the most fucked week in music that I can remember. Three bands have all released new songs that are such a fucking joke they should be opening for Dane Cook.
I would like to start with the band Amely. Seriously, come the fuck on. You should all be embarrassed to be in each other’s presence. You’ve written a song so bad that an awkward pity fills my body and makes me unable to listen to this track in its entirety. Congratulations Fearless Records you have yet another winner on your hands. Don’t listen to "I’m Not Missing You" on AltPress.com; you’re wasting your time. I warned you.
Simple Plan … fuck you. God dammit I’m so mad that fucks like you are given studio time. Not because I’m jealous, but because I’m so fucking dumb that I actually think people use it to write palitable music, therefore tricking me into completely blowing three minutes of life, making my miserable existence even worse. The song "Jet Lag" is so bad that it’s a parody of itself. I wouldn’t be surprised if Rebecca Black was given credit for the lyrics on this one. Oh and by the way Pierre says that this song has a “classic” feel to it. Classic? Like Beethoven? Like The Beatles? Fuck it I could write tome about how much this band sucks. You’ve been double warned. Don’t listen to “Jet Lag”.
P.S. Natasha Bedingfield (female vocal on “Jet Lag”) you can’t sing. Please tell me you are def so I can sleep at night thinking you’re only allowed to record because people feel sorry for you.
I know I’m going to get a ton of shit for this if anyone ever ends up reading my blog, but Fireworks, you need to get your shit together. I don’t know what happened to you guys, however, I want you to know, you’ve fallen off the fucking deep end. What’s with the organ? Is it even necessary? Has no one learned anything from Four Year Strong’s Mistakes? It’s the most unintentionally asinine thing I’ve heard since Gorilla Biscuits’ harmonica solo on “Start Today”. Your music is becoming generic and sounds like it belongs on the soundtrack of a dreamworks animated movie. To top it off, David, you sound like a cross between Rob Thomas and Pee-Wee Herman. Figure it out dudes. Figure it out. Listen to the song “Arrows” in the video above or here. Please, tell me I’m crazy. Please tell me I’m just going bat-shit crazy.
I just found out that Cobra Starship and Artist vs Poet released new songs so this will have to continue tomorrow. Worst month of music fucking ever. Title Fight may be the only thing that saves the summer.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Who didn’t know this was going to happen. I mean come on … seriously. What a shocker Four Year Strong kicks out the keyboard player that they never needed in the first place. The best part is that they actually pretend there will be some sort of void left with the loss of this undeniably expendable position.
"Josh was special at what he did; he wasn’t just a keyboard player. There’s no way to replace what he did on stage or off. So we are not going to try. We are going to continue on as a four piece."
Then why didn’t you just keep him? What a bunch of lying shit heads. All they have to do is tell the truth. Here is what they should have said. “We never really needed a keyboard player. In fact, it actually made our music worse. Not only will this make our songs better but we’ll make a little more money when we start depositing Josh’s salary right into our bank accounts. Go us!”
To read more and laugh about how fucked Josh is go to this link: Property Of Zack